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Old 12-14-2008, 08:53 PM   #1
Xanderian
A lucky guy
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 305
Orgins: A Power Rangers Saga

So I posted this once and got absolutly no feed back what so ever so please comment if you read it! I own nothing





Scene opens with a space dungeon of some sort fling through space and crash landing on the moon. Camera then does a fast-forward of 10 years it is now the year 2010 and the space mission DELTA has just landed to take a sample of the moon for study. They see a glowing on the horizon and slowly walk toward it. There is an inscription on it and does not look human.

Astronaut 1: Siren this is eagle one do you copy?

Siren: Eagle one go head over.

Eagle 1: I see that there has been a disturbance in sector one, seeking permission to explore?

Siren: Copy that Eagle One your clear for exploration

Eagle one: Hey Chuck! We have the go head… let’s go see what it is.

Chuck: You got it Ted.

Ted: What is that? (Looks at it puzzled)

Chuck: You got me. But hey there’s some sort of writing on it. It doesn’t look human.

Ted: Don’t be an idiot chuck probably just a cast off from the space station! Look there is a latch on it let’s pries it open and ill show ya, you wimp! (Laughs)

Ted: What the hell is that? (Screams as vaporized)

Chuck runs as he is vaporized as a female and several males come out of the small dumpster.

Rita: After 10,000 years being locked in that containment cell, it feels good to be finally out. Where the hell are we? Goldar I asked you a question, answer me god damn it!

Goldar: I donno, my Empress

Finster: It appears empress we crashed in a galaxy known as the Milky Way. On a moon orbiting the planet its inhabitants call earth. It is the only known planet in this galaxy known to support life.



Rita: Oh yes I remember this planet (laughs evilly), Daddy took me here on vacation about twenty thousand years ago. We went to a planet called Mars and destroyed it (laughs again)

Goldar: but that planet is desolate

Rita: Yes Goldar, now it is…. and so will this one


Scene changes to a juice bar setting where a radio is playing and there are people playing pool and having juice and smoothies at tables. Camera pans to show a sign that says Ernie’s Juice and shakes

Camera closes in on a girl in yellow on doing homework

Then a pool match between two guys one in red other in black

Camera pans out to see a girl in pink drinking a smoothie and taking to a boy in green who is playing arcade games and then looks up at TV

The camera then turns to the TV as a news reporter is talking about the two astronauts that seemed to have vanished.

Ernie: Trini thank you so much for helping me with the books. Ever since Lois died I just can’t seem to get them balanced. I was always the people person you know the grunt labor. She did the hard stuff.

Trini: Don’t worry Ernie! We all Loved Lois besides I do this all the time for my dad’s restaurant. No big deal. But we are counting it as ROP class…remembers?

Ernie: That’s right Trini. Well in that case drinks on the house for you and your friends.

Trini: Thanks Ernie!

On his cell phone
Billy: I was just wondering if Marge happened to be available? Well if she is can you tell her Billy called to discuss the electron capacity of the neuron generator for the science fair? Ok … thank you Mr. McKormit.

Zack: ooo Billy has a new girlfriend

Billy: Marge is just my lab partner.

Jason: (smiling) sure she is! (Makes kissing sounds and acts like his hands are kissing)

Zack: Do you like her?
Billy: I never really analyzed our relationship in that manner. However I suppose under the right circumstances…it could…I don’t know.

Jason: Yes or no?

Billy: Yes… or No …I really cannot answer you Jason.

Camera pans back out to Trini who is still working on the calculator.

Trini: So with electricity at 132 a month and fruit costs of 300… that leaves you a profit of 12000 this month. Not bad Ernie.

Ernie: I’ll say. Especially with this economy I’m just glad I have some sort of profit.

Anchor: Good afternoon, I’m John Kempton. Late breaking news in from the Pentagon.
Two astronauts have vanished from their scientific mission on the moon. No foul play has been cited as of yet. But the pentagon is not releasing any more information. They have however released the names of the two astronauts believed to be missing. They include Lieutenant Charles Campbell and Lance Corporal Theodore Monte.

Kimberly: Trini come here! Isn’t that Aisha’s uncle?

Trini: Oh my God it is! Poor Aisha!

We will keep are viewers posted as soon as more information is known, are thoughts and prayers go out to the families. In for KTHB news in Angel Grove this is John Kempton now back to your regular scheduled program.


Kimberly: Oh my God! Trini did you just see that?

Trini: Yes, it’s getting bad Kim … I just hope the families of the astronauts are okay.

Billy: Salutations, Trini. (Notices the bad vibe in the room) Is something the matter with you?

Trini: You haven’t seen the news yet Billy?

Billy: No I have not, why?

Kimberly: There have been some freaky disappearances of some astronauts that were on a mission on the moon.

Billy: oh… I’m sure there fine. Stranger things have happened especially when dealing with the Cosmos.

Two teens then walk up one in red the other in black.

Jason: That’s three out of five games Zack! You can’t beat me

Slaps Zack on the back.

Zack: Ah ha you say that now but just watch me!

Trini, Kimberly and Billy walk over to Zack and Jason.

Trini: Did you guys here what happened?

Jason: Ye, its very weird.

Zack: Damn I know, but hey they will find them guys.

Jason: If I know anything about our government is that we take care of are own!

Bulk: What are you nerds yapping about?

Kimberly: The Astronauts on the moon are lost. We were worried…

Trini: Bulk for once just be polite, those families are going through a hard time.

Bulk: What are you talking about who cares you didn’t even know them!

Skull: Ye (laughs) didn’t even know them!

Ritchie steps behind Bulk

Ritchie: Actually we do know the family of one of them. It happens to be Aisha Campbell’s uncle. So lay off of Trini Bulk (looks to Skull) and you to Skull.

Skull: Uh uh uh

Bulk: Shut it skull! The dweeb thinks they know what’s best for everyone lets get them.
But you can’t make me do anything that I (points to himself) do what I want, when I want and how I want to do it. So if you are too stupid to see then get out of my way!

(Ritchie notices the drink spilled on the floor)

Ritchie By all means go…

Bulk: Outta my way… (Slips on the drink and falls causing a drink to fall right on his crotch)

Ritchie: Looks like you can’t (laughs)

Trini: ha-ha that will teach you Bulk! Wait who am I kidding, no it won’t.

Ritchie: So I got to go clean that mess up but I look forward to our date.

Trini: Wouldn’t miss it for the world (bites her lip)

Kimberly: (mouths) He is so cute (both girls giggle)

Kimberly: So yeah anyways Trini, did you still want to go to the mall to get those cute earrings you have been dying to buy. Cause somebody got a date with Ritchie!

Trini: Oh my god Kim I forgot all about that! We can go tomorrow after gymnastics practice my date is on Friday.

Kimberly: How can you forget about that! He is so cute.

Trini: Your right I’m just so nervous, do you mind if we pick up some new lipstick I want to wow him.

Kim: That sounds like a plan! (Both giggle)

Everyone goes back to what they were doing except for Kim who tries to find the boy she was talking to but could not find him so she goes to order another drink.

Camera moves to a façade of the Command Center in the middle of the Mojave Desert. A robot comes on the screen moving and shuffling around pressing buttons trying to stabilize the power.

Alpha 5: “Environmental scanners detected a foreign energy signature. The morphing grid is going haywire Zordon.

Zordon is looking puzzled

Alpha 5: Ay yai yai yai yai Zordon! Whatever it is has ruptured the galactic field. The power being generated is like nothing I have ever seen. At least on earth, I don’t know how much longer I can stabilize it!

Zordon: Keep trying Alpha I still need more time!

Alpha: I’ll do my best!

The Robot looking flustered wildly works to control the massive surge in power

Zordon: Alpha the mass of energy that is causing the surge is coming from the moon.

Alpha: It is perhaps a reaction from the space mission that being conducted by the NASA? I glanced over the launch logs and there shows to be a lunar landing today.

Zordon: It’s a possibility Alpha 5 but something just isn’t settling right. Set the space scanners for the lunar quadrants then direct the input to the viewing globe.

Just then there was another surge of power and loud bell rang and the ground shook.

Alpha: It's the big one! I know it! I know it! California Zordon WHY?

Zordon: Alpha calm down! What I have feared would happen, has now come to pass, Rita Repulsa has escaped her entrapment and is attacking earth

Alpha: How can you be so sure it’s her Zordon?

Zordon: I am picking up her energy signature. Just like a fingerprint Alpha, an energy signature is unique to an individual. I would know that evil force anywhere, but just to be sure pull up the images.

On the Viewing Globe it showed a very strange dressed woman and a group of aliens.


Zordon: I think you know what we need to do Alpha. Implement Plan P!

Alpha: Plan P?

Zordon: Teleport to us the most dangerous group of ruthless, underhanded, self-absorbed, and over-emotional humans in the area
Alpha: Alright Zordon

Alpha: Zordon you have to be joking… not teenagers?

Zordon: Yes Alpha, do it immediately!

Alpha: But Zordon…

Zordon: Now Alpha, we don’t have much time.

Alpha: Right away Zordon.

Scene goes back to Ernie’s Juice Bar.

Jason: Hey Kim, what are you doin after school?

Kimberly: Um… Just doin some homework … why?

Jason: Well I was kind of thinking if.

Kimberly: Oh My God what’s going on?

Just as they start talking an earthquake hits

Jason: Everybody get under a table just like we practiced.

Kim: Oh my god it’s an earthquake

Trini: Kim calm down just do what we learned from Ms. Applebee.

Billy: The magnitude of this quake is out of this world!

Trini: This is really weird!

All the teens begin to notice that they are beginning to glow different colors.

Jason: What the?

In unison they all turn into different colors and transport in bright lights through the sky

All the teens: "Whoooaa!"

Kim (voice-over): "What's happening?"

Billy (voice-over): "We seem to be demolecularized!"

Zack: I don’t know what that means Billy but were screwed!

[The streaks fly into the Command Center building through the main tube and then materialize inside}

They are transported one by one into a chamber that’s dark with one door that is semi-cracked emitting light.

Kimberly: How in the world did we get here?

Zack: Oh man how am I going to explain this to my mom…

Trini: We just need to stick together and everything will be ok.

Jason: There is some light over there at the end of the tunnel lets head toward it.

Kimberly: Are you nuts Jase! Haven’t you ever heard that when in a dark tunnel you head away from the light!

Jason: We aren’t dead yet Kimberly. It’s our only option right now, as you can see it’s the only source of light.

Kimberly: Fine let’s go but be careful.

They walk up to the door that is of very advance technology. The door itself is airtight but still manages to exude rays of light. The door is etched with markings of dinosaurs.

Kimberly: It’s so pretty

As Kimberly goes to touch the door its starts to open rays of light come out blinding each teen. As the light dims it becomes apparent that there is a medium build individual

Alpha: Follow me.

Kimberly: I’m not following you anywhere!

Jason: Who are you?

Billy: Whoa! A fully sentient, multifunctional automaton!

Zack: What?

Trini: What Billy means is that it’s a robot.

Alpha: As you can see I am part robot but the rest of my body is composed of edenite flesh.

Zack: Oh.

Kimberly: I don’t care whom or what you are! Why have you brought us here?

Alpha: Follow me and Zordon will answer all your questions.

Trini: Zordon? Who is
As they converse with the robot a large being materializes before them with the help of two large conductor beams

Zordon: Welcome Humans!

Jason: Billy, what’s your explanation for that? (Points to the figure)

Billy: uh

Zordon: I will answer all your questions in due time. First off I am Zordon from a distant planet known as Eltar. Ten thousand years ago an intergalactic sorceress named Rita Repulsa gathered an army to destroy the planet you earthlings know as Mars. Unfortunately she had succeeded in stealing the planets life force and soon after the planet and all it’s inhabitants perished. However a group of warriors much like you and I were able to lure Rita into a containment cell. But as she was captured she cast a spell on me trapping me in an intergalactic time warp hence what you see now.

Trini: But were just kids.

Zach: So what does that have to do with us?

Kim: Like I’m so confused.

Zordon: Rita has escaped from her containment cell and now is attacking earth. I have chosen you five for your individual values and abilities.

Trini: What abilities?

Alpha: More like qualities (laughs) we will supply the power.

Kim: Powers?

Zordon: You have been chosen to form an elite fighting team. The future of the planet is yours, and you are now called upon to defend that future. Each of you will have access to extraordinary powers drawn from the spirits of the ancient creatures you call “dinosaurs.”

Zach: Dinosaurs? This is way too weird?

Zordon:
Jason: Powerful and strong you will command the power of the tyrannosaurus
Kimberly: Cunning and swift you will command the power of the pterodactyl
Zachary: Clever and brave, you will command the power of the mastodon
Billy: Patient and smart you will command the Triceratops
Trini: Fierce and agile you will command the saber-tooth tiger

Billy: Zoltar I hate to interrupt but what are these energy conductors for?

Zordon: My name is Zordon, William

William: Oh my sincerest apologies…

Zordon: Those William, are your Power Morphers. When in trouble hold them to the sky and shout out the name of your dinosaur. From then on you will command all the power of the universe. Together, the five of you will form an awesome fighting force
known to one and all as the Power Rangers!

Zach: Yo Z let me get this straight, you and your robo thing teleport us here…

Kim: plan to turn us into ugly ass monsters

Billy: "...to battle a malevolent sorceress named Rita...?"

Jason: who drains planets?

Trini: and who is now after our planet?

Alpha: yes, you got it! Exactly right!

Kim: Well that’s crazy… I’m out

Zach: No. No way, I'm outta here. Uh, it's been real, but I left the oven on and bye... (Walking away) Y'all coming?"

The other teens turn around and leave as well.

Alpha: Wait! Homies, dudes … where ya goin? Its not going well is it? We need to find another plan before the Rita destroys everything. Zordon what are we going to do?

Zordon: Have some hope Alpha 5 it will work out.

{Walking down the mountain}
Jason: What are you guys thinking? We can totally do this!

Trini: Jason who do you think we are Supermen?

Billy: She’s right Jason it’s scientifically impossible!

Jason: Billy, think about what just happened! Is that scientifically possible? Out of millions of people anywhere in the world he chose us! Us! That has to show for something!

Up on the moon a castle is halfway built still under construction by putty patrollers

Rita: I see Zordon is up to his old tricks, two can play at that game you old twit! Finster, send down my army and take those kids out!

Back on earth somewhere in the Mojave Desert near Angel Grove

Trini: at least he could have sent us back the way we came …

Zack: ugh no thank you! I’d rather walk thank you very much. No more demolec… whatever for the Zack man!

Kim: I don’t care … I just want to get home and go to the mall … buy some shoes and forget any of this ever happened and a new…oh my god (screams)

Trini: Guys we have company…

Jason: What the hell are those things?

Billy: I donno but they look like there coming right for us!

Kim: Great just what I need!

Jason: Stay together …

Zack: Kimberly, Trini, you guys take those two; Jason you and I got those and Billy… stay near us!

In unison: right!

Kim: These things are so gross!

Jason: ah (flips) these things are too strong!

Zack punches one in the gut as he hurts his hand.

Zack: They are made out of rock! How is this even possible?

Each of the teens flies onto the ground, looking for help

Kim: We’re so screwed

Trini: We need help now!

Jason: Goddamn. Why are these things so … {looks down at the Morphers} you guys we have to do this it’s the only way!

Kim: Alright Jason but if this breaks any of my nails I’m holding you personally responsible

Jason: (rolls eyes) Let’s do it!

Zack: Mastodon

Kim: Pterodactyl

Billy: Triceratops

Trini: Saber tooth tiger

Jason: Tyrannosaurus

All teens go through a morphing process in which they change into costume.

Kim: Oh my god!

Trini: This is unreal: look at all the technology in this helmet

Billy: Morphenomenal, the power intensity is surreal!

Jason: Let’s do this!

In the command center

Alpha: Zordon Rita has forced the rangers to morph!

Zordon: Wonderful Alpha trans-port them here immediately!

Back in the desert

In the Mojave Desert beating the last of the putties

Zack: I was wrong Jase, this is awesome (does a little dance)


Just then they are transported to the Command Center in their respective colors
The kids fall on the floor.

Kim: I got to get the hang of that!

Billy: I think we are all in the same cross-dimensional frame of mind Kimberly.

Zordon: Welcome Back Rangers

All teens talking at once

Zordon: Okay, okay I see you are excited and everything will be clear in a moment. First off is that now you are Power Rangers you must follow three basic rules or lose the protection the power provides: Number one: Never under any circumstances use the power granted to you for personal gain. Number two: never escalate a battle unless forced to by supernatural instances and finally the most important one of all number three: Keep your identities secret no one may know you are a Power Ranger.

Zack: Why not these are totally cool.

Zordon: - Because if they did it would put you and your families in a lot of danger.

Trini: But Zordon, how do you know that we can stop Rita, all those putties seem so easy I don’t think could handle anything big.

Zordon: you all have special gifts and talents that made Alpha and I choose you, not to mention a whole arsenal of weapons that will be in your command. Reach out your hands.

As they do this they each have a weapon appear in their hands

Zordon: Zachary the power axe is yours, Kimberly the Power Bow belongs to you, Billy the Power Lance is yours, Trini the Power Daggers and Jason the power Sword, which is the key to all the other weapons power, is yours. When these weapons combine it will create what is known as the Power Blaster. With this weapon all enemies will fall.
Not only would you command these weapons but you also access to mechanical fighting machines known as Zords. Each Zord is in the likeness of the dinosaur that it harnesses its power from. Just as you work together these weapons work together to form the Megazord. With these weapons you five can do anything!

Jason: I just can’t believe it.

Trini: So guys what do you say? Are we in?


Billy: Affirmative!

Jason: I’m in!

Zack: Fo sho

Kim: (sighs) I donno guys the outfits are cute but it may cut into cheerleading time and that helmet will give me a serious case of helmet hair … I m out.

All teens try to convince Kimberly to join


Kim: Okay, okay ill do it! (Laughs)



Back at the moon base

Rita: Finster! What kind of army did you build me? Mere children destroyed those things!

Finster: I apologize my queen it’s just moon mire is so fragile but I am searching for a new substance that would make the putty patrol almost indestructible.

Goldar: Bandora my queen…

Rita: Goldar I told you to never ever use that moniker as long as I live.

Goldar: I am sorry or highness but that is what I was instructed to call you by regent Lord Zedd.

Rita: Your NOT working for Lord Zedd now are you!

Goldar: No…

Rita: 20,000 years ago we struck a deal to save your wife Scorpina from the hands of Malagore. You agreed to the terms Goldar. If you back out that’s that but Scorpina is mine.

Goldar: Fine Empress Rita…It appears that Zordon has chosen his Rangers to combat against you. But unlike last time they are not the elite of the fighting squadrons that they once were. In this day and time combat fighting is no longer required. So we have the advantage. Here are their identities they are only children.

Rita: (laughs evilly) Goldar this is excellent news you may be of some use yet.

Finster runs in.

Finster: Rita I have located some mire suitable for your army the only problem is that it is located in under Stone Canyon High.

Rita: Finster that doesn’t sound like a problem only an invitation to fun.

In Angel Grove Park Trini and Kimberly are rollerblading with their friend Aisha and her friend Adam.

Adam: Whoa Kim slow down… I may have won the Stone Canyon Triathlon but that’s only because you weren’t in it geez!

Kimberly: Aisha I thought your friend here could keep up with …how did you say is Adam… a couple of “weak girls”

(All the girls laugh)

Trini: I guess he can’t …what happened Adam all bark not bite (snarls at Adam)

Adam: Ha-ha your girls are hilarious! I’m just uh tired that’s all.

Trini: Are you okay ay?

Aisha: I’m fine … It’s just how can someone just disappear and leave no trace. I just don’t get it Trini.

Trini (putting her arm around Aisha) they will find him Aisha.

Kimberly: and whoever is responsible I’ll punch them for ya if I ever meet them! I promise.

All four teens smile and laugh.

Kimberly: Oh I heard that they opened a new roller rink that has X-games caliber ramps! Ya’ll want to go check it out?

Trini: Sure I’m game

Adam: Me too

Aisha: I’ll catch you guys later I have to go home.

Suddenly putties jump out of nowhere.

Trini: Adam, take Aisha and go get help!

Adam: No why don’t you send Kim! I’m a guy I can do this.

Kimberly: Adam we know your a guy but please go were women we know how to distract them… just go.

As Adam leaves one attacks Kimberly throwing her against the tree. The other takes Trini down cutting her cheek with a blade. The two girls jump up to regain their balance. Trini does a spinning hi kick taking two putties down while Kimberly drives her fist into the stomach of the putty while kicking the other in the jaw causing it to flip. One by one the putties fall until they all disappear in a yellow haze.

Trini: what was that all about.

Kimberly: I donno but lets go to the command center to see what Rita is up to.

In Billy’s Lab

Billy: Thank you for accompanying me here to be my lab assistant Zack. It is much appreciated.

Zack: Not a Problem Billy. I’m much more entranced with all the cool gadgets you have here.

Billy: uh please do not touch that, it is highly unstable if it were to…

Zack: Okay Billy chill, I’ll keep my hands inside the plane at all times… Scouts honor!
So what we working on today?

Billy: Well I thought since we are a team now we need an inconspicuous way of staying in touch…

Zack: We have cell phones…

Billy: Yes but what if were not someplace with cell coverage?

Zack: ah gotcha!

Billy: Since Rita hasn’t really made any trouble yet I took the last few days as a blessing and made these!

Billy pulls out a set of color matching watches.

Zack: Hey those are the sweet watches I bought. So what. Wait …I’m lost.

Billy: There not just watches but they act a cross-dimensional Speaking apparatus!

Zack: Huh?

Billy: Uh a walkie talkie basically but with the technology I invented it sounds just like I could be right in your proximity when I am actually 100 miles away.

Zack: That’s so awesome Billy.

Billy gets a huge grin on his face

Zack: What you look guilty!

Billy: Not guilty just curious, want to try it out?

Zack: Fo Sho

Billy: Okay grab the black watch and go into the living room

Zack does as he is told
Billy coming through on speaker clear as day

Billy: Testing, testing 1,2
Zack: Runs back excited

Zack: How do I do it!

Billy: Press the Yellow button to talk.
Zack coming in crystal clear.

Zack: Billy you hear me

Billy: Load and clear.

Zack start to rap over the communicator.

“This Zack man on the mic
Coming at ya at the speed of light
Don’t mess with me
Cause I wield an axe
Never calm down when I'm spinning my tracks.”

Billy: Alright Zack that’s enough…

Zack: over and out (makes walkie talkie noise)

Zack walks over to the garage.

Zack: Billy those things are hot!

Billy: Hot?

Zack: Wonderful. The guys are gonna love them.

Speaking of the devil. Look who it is!

Zack’s phone starts to ring the caller ID says Trini Kwan

Zack: Yo Trini…okay grab the rest of the gang and meet us at the juice bar in say ten minutes. Okay bye
Billy: What happened?

Zack: Putties…I think that’s what they’re called… attacked Kim and Trini, but they didn’t really want anything.

Billy: Must have been some sort of distraction. Let’s go meet up with the guys something fishy is going on.

Back at the juice bar

Jason: They just left you alone after the fight?

Kimberly: Ye, like they were just keeping us busy.

Trini: It was very weird.

Billy and Zack arrive

Billy: Hey guys can you meet me in the hall?

Jason: What for?

Zack: Presents!

Kim: OOOO I Love presents!

The teens walk over to the hall Billy pulls out 3 watches matching the ones he and Zack already have on.

Kimberly: Oh My God! Billy these are so adorable! What’s with the gifts?

Billy: Well besides the way the look I have constructed these watches to be inter-dimensional speaking apparatuses.

Jason: Huh

Trini: Walkie Talkies

Kimberly: Oh cool so what does this button…

As soon as Kimberly presses the button all the rangers are teleported into the Command center all bunched up.

Kimberly: do?

Alpha 5: What are you doing here I didn’t call for you.

Kimberly: I think the watch did it?
Zordon: Congratulations Billy on your new invention. Not only did you invent a device that you can communicate through. You also inadvertently tapped into the morphing grid allowing Alpha and I to communicate with you as well as transport yourselves anywhere.

Kimberly: Not to mention they are super cute! Who picked them out?

Zack: That would be me!

Suddenly alarms are going off as the Rangers attention is turned toward the viewing globe. Rita appears on the screen

Rita: ZORDON of ELTAR I know you can hear me. So I am going to make this quite clear. I need the energy from this world to rejuvenate my self. Just like I did last time. And there is nothing you can do to stop me. As we speak my armies are forming out of the mire of this pathetic planet. And if you don’t surrender to me I’ll take it by force.
I know you think you have your “Power Pukes” but what will happen when the price on the line is human life. We shall wait and see.

The screen turns grey, as the rangers look on helpless.

To Be Continued…
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Old 12-14-2008, 10:24 PM   #2
BattleRanger
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Feedback takes a while, sometimes- I will say this- it reads more like a screenplay than a novel, which can be a bit distracting and sacrifices description for function. Also, there's not much differences here from the original pilot, save for some embellishments such as having Aisha and Adam appear already.

Seriously, I think you need to really consider what it is you're trying to do different with the MMPR concept- because unless you can bring something new to the table with this, we've had rewrite after rewrite after rewrite- and trust me, I know, because my fanfics are basically rewrites- but while I would borrow scenes and dialogue from the show, I tried to keep the story as original as possible.

There's nothing wrong with retelling the MMPR saga to fit your vision- but unless its something radically different from the show, what's the point?
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Old 12-28-2008, 03:27 AM   #3
vgold734
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I totally agree with your point.

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Last edited by Lisa J; 12-28-2008 at 08:05 AM.
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Old 01-04-2009, 01:37 AM   #4
stuv255
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Mime in a Forest Riddle

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Last edited by Fearless Frank; 01-04-2009 at 07:35 AM. Reason: Deleted spam content.
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